Dear Anonymous,

I’m sure The Coach isn’t the first to receive an anonymous letter telling him all of his faults and how he should have coached last Friday night’s game, and I’m sure he won’t be the last head coach to receive such a letter.  On behalf of all the people who put themselves out there in life, for all of the men who take their life and use it for the betterment of their community by coaching high school football, literally for pennies in the state of North Carolina, for all of those men who spend more time on the field than they do with their family,  only to have faceless and nameless people call them out, degrade them, or criticize them, I want to write a letter to you, Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

You see, I have no problem at all with people expressing their thoughts and feelings in the form of words.  I have done it myself at times in the heat of the moment, spouting off my feelings when I was angry or hurt, or thought of a better way in which I saw that things could have been done, but the difference between you and I, Anonymous, is that I signed my work.

Some people have guts.  Some people are the kind of people who may not be our favorite people, but we know they will be honest and upfront with us.  They come to us, yes, to our face, in person, or write us a note, and sign it with their real name, and tell us what’s up.

Last Friday night, I was as angry as any other person who watched that game.  I said some words to The Coach right after the game about how I thought things should have been done, then got up on Saturday morning and talked with him about some other things that I had thought of during the night.  You see, I didn’t get to see The Coach come home since I went to bed at 1:30 after waiting up for him.  He and the other coaches were at the field house watching film and working until 3:30am.  Where were you then Anonymous? Probably sleeping.

Late Friday night I had to apologize to two friends I was rude to at the game, because I was so worked up, and said some things and some words I shouldn’t have said.  I take responsibility for my words.  Fortunately, they understood and forgave my blatant honesty and rudeness, and we are still friends.  We can say things to each other that are honest, and real, and be okay with it and move on.  Maybe you should take a lesson, Anonymous, and learn to do so as well.

I respect the opinions of others, but when you take to social media and hide behind your computer to call someone out in front of the world, or send anonymous letters to someone’s home, taking measures to make sure it is typed and not handwritten, (Oh my, do we know you that well to know your handwriting, Anonymous?)  Then that tells me just how big of a coward you truly are.

In your letter, you call out a couple of the coaches for their lack of involvement and ability.  If you are such a fantastic analyst of football and coaching, then truly, you should get yourself out there and volunteer your time and talents like several of our coaches do.  You see, my husband and all of the other coaches on the Shelby staff have a gift.  They have the ability to work with young men, inspire young men, and coach teams to greatness.  The put their faces, names, and families in the line of fire each and every week, as they get out there and coach in front of “fans” like yourself who like to pick apart and find fault with what they are doing.  It’s easy to see what’s wrong from way up there in the stands.  The field is a different place indeed.  It has a completely different perspective.  If you are truly so gifted, why aren’t you putting yourself out there, and helping coach the team?  Oh, that’s right.  You’re a coward.

Don’t, for a second, think you know what goes on in a coach’s life, or household.  Perhaps you, Anonymous, have a perfect life, with plenty of spare time on your hands.  Well, coaches don’t have that luxury.  Our coaches are dealing with plenty of real-life problems each and every week.  They don’t simply appear and get to put every second of their energy into a bunch of players who have it all together.  Sometimes they are busy making the very best out of bad situations.  It is easy to criticize what you don’t understand.   The coaches go home to households where things aren’t perfect either.  They have kids who get sick or hurt,  kids who need help with homework, parents who are sick or having surgery, laundry, yard work, busted pipes, garage doors that need repair, wives who need some attention, babies on the way, new babies crying in the night, houses for sale, and so much more.  Could you balance all that life throws at you, and coach a team to four straight state championships?  I challenge you to do so, Anonymous.  I challenge you to even try.   But, you will never be the kind of man my husband is.  You will never be the kind of man that any high school football coach is because you are too chicken shit to even put your name on a letter.  You mentioned that The Coach has “an air” about him.  He is borderline arrogant at times, but he has to be to do what he does.  He has confidence in himself, his assistant coaches, and his players.  I hope that someday you will find your confidence, Anonymous.

In closing, I want to recommend you find a positive and productive hobby, Anonymous, instead of picking apart people who are actually getting out there and putting their time and energy into helping young men to be successful.  Best wishes for the future.  Next time you want to say something, feel free to write me a letter.  Just be sure to sign it.

Most sincerely,

Catherine M. Ware

 

10 comments

  1. Sandra Lambiotte · November 9, 2017

    I love it and I know you can hear me cheering ! I have been in your very shoes many moons ago when my husband coached. What you said was very well said and absolutely perfect! I am proud of you!!!!!

    Like

  2. Stephen Schmoutz · November 9, 2017

    Woo hoo!!!! Standing up at work cheering for your awesome words. Way to stand up for your husband, your team and your community. This person is probably not from here!!!! Proud to know you and Coach and proud to be a Golden Lion forever!!!!

    Like

  3. Myra Wilson · November 9, 2017

    Behind every good man is a good wife! Well said 👍

    Like

  4. Gennie Thackerson · November 9, 2017

    Love you Catherine Ware… God Bless you and your family. I’ve learned that When people stand behind and talk trash, write trash, and sling mud, their life is so worthless that they try to make others… Keep your Faith my Sister, God has you and your family in the palm of his hands…

    Like

  5. Sandy Quattlebaum · November 10, 2017

    Amen, sister! As a young head football coach’s wife, it was my turn to stand up for my husband and his staff. No one knows (unless they have lived it) the love and sacrifice these men give for “the boys”! We appreciate all of the long days and nights of preparation to provide these young men opportunities beyond imagination!!!

    Like

  6. Jeanne Burks · November 10, 2017

    I am VERY proud of the coaches and their families! God gave them talents! Winning a game is not the most important thing to coaching! These young guys need positive influences in their lives! I wonder how many of the team members have no father figure in their lives! Probably many of them!! May God bless these coaches and their families!

    Like

  7. Kim Stafford · November 10, 2017

    Good for you!!! Thank you I think that was well done. It’s a tough job being a coach. We love and support you guys.

    Like

  8. Carla Hartsoe · November 10, 2017

    You go girl! ❤️ From a fellow coaches wife!

    Like

  9. Jennifer Heatherly · November 14, 2017

    Catherine-
    As the wife of a 1st year head high school football coach thank you for this post! You put it perfectly how it feels on this side of things!

    Like

  10. Keitha C. Reep · November 19, 2017

    My daughter is grown and out of college and i don’t even go to night school games but my friend showed me this post and i just wanted to say “Amen” to you Katherine M. Ware – very well said and so very true in every respect. Everyone can have an opinion but if they cannot own that opinion they should keep it to themselves! 👍

    Like

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